


The Barry Manilow Effect

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Thicker than Water [30]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-11
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-20 15:04:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2433131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I mean <i>Mandy</i>’s OK and if you tell anyone I said that I will disown you, but anything else is just wrong.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Barry Manilow Effect

**Author's Note:**

> This story is written in the **Thicker than Water** universe where the BAU are kids and teens.

“Have you ever heard of Heart?” JJ asked, sitting across from Emily at the kitchen table.

“Of course I've heard of Heart. They’re only one of the quintessential bands of the 70s and 80s.”

“What's that mean? What’s quintessential mean?”

“It means they’re important.”

“Well Nancy might be important.” JJ replied. “She plays guitar. Did you know that?”

“Yep, and her sister Ann sings.”

“Well, the singing part is a little cheesy but the guitar is sweet. I was listening to some of their stuff; Will’s aunt likes them. She usually likes real crap so I was shocked.”

“What's she usually listen to?” Emily asked.

“She’s a Barry Manilow fan.”

“Ouch…for real.”

“I wouldn’t ever accuse someone of that if it weren't true. I hear, according to her so I don’t know if I can trust it, that he has billions of fans and have sold like a gazillion records all over the world. I mean _Mandy_ ’s OK and if you tell anyone I said that I will disown you, but anything else is just wrong.”

“I was always partial to _Can't Smile Without You_.” Emily said. “I think it’s like a rule that a person has to like at least one Barry Manilow song.”

“Hotch?” JJ turned around to look at the teenager. He was sitting on the couch reading _Mildred Pierce_ from his summer reading list.

“Yeah?” he looked up and took off his glasses.

“What’s your acceptable Barry Manilow tune?”

“ _Weekend in New England_.”

“Oh my God,” JJ laughed. “He knew what I was talking about.”

“I told you JJ,” Emily smiled as well. “Everyone has one. I bet even Morgan does.”

“No, no way can Morgan like him. Bet you $5 he doesn’t.”

“We’ll make it $2.”

“$2 if it’s just a dumb old song. $5 if it’s _Copacabana_ …though I know its not cuz there's no way Morgan likes Barry Manilow.”

“I can answer for him.” Hotch replied.

“You might make something up to rip his street cred.” Emily said.

“I'm shocked and horrified that you ever think I would do such a thing.”

“Right.” She smirked.

Hotch laughed, going back to his book as Jason and Spencer came into the apartment. They had been at Kassmeyer’s picking up the week’s groceries. JJ jumped up to help and posed her question. She asked Spencer first.

“I can only pick one?” he countered with a question of his own.

“You’ve got to stop hanging out with him.” JJ laughed pointing to Jason. “The point is you should only have one, Spencer.”

“I should?”

“Have one what?” Penelope asked. She’d been in Jason’s room playing on the computer. She came out to check the status of snacks from the market trip.

“What's your Barry Manilow song, Penelope?” Emily asked.

“ _Daybreak_...duh.” she laughed. “That song is awesome!”

“I've never heard of it.” JJ replied. “I'm thinking that’s probably for the best. I can't believe this is turning out to be true. What's the point of liking something so uncool?”

“One man’s uncool is another man’s so cool.” Jason said.

“No its not.” JJ said.

Emily laughed as Penelope grabbed the Ho-hos from the grocery bag.

“Can I open these?” she asked.

“No.” Emily replied. “They’ll spoil your dinner. Eat an apple now and maybe you can have one for dessert.”

“But dinner isn’t for like 3 more hours.” Penelope reasoned. “It can't possibly spoil it.”

“Eating junk food only makes you hungrier.” Emily said. “Then you'll want more and more and by the time dinner comes you won't be hungry anymore. The fruit will make you feel less hungry and keep you that way until dinnertime. And if you don’t believe that, how about just because I said so.”

“OK.” Penelope frowned a bit but couldn’t really find room to argue. She put the Ho-hos back in the bag and went to the fridge for an apple. The golden delicious ones they got from the fruit stand were always really yummy. She handed it to JJ. “Can you cut it for me?”

“No problem.”

“Be careful with the knife.” Jason said.

“I have it all under control. I only use the little one.”

JJ grabbed the small paring knife from the drawer and started cutting Penelope’s apple on the cutting board. It made her want one too so they grabbed another one from the fridge and Penelope stood on the stepladder to get a bowl from the cabinet.

“I'm starving.” Morgan said, walking into the apartment.

“Hello to you too, Derek.” Jason replied with a smirk.

“Yo.” He put his dirty football in the bottom of the closet. “I'm starving.”

“The girls are eating apples.” Emily said.

“Me too.” Spencer chimed in, grabbing one for himself from the fridge. Apples were round so he didn’t need them cut up to eat them.

“I said I was starving Prentiss. I'm a growing boy; I need nutrition.”

“I just bought some chicken from the supermarket.” Jason said, sitting down across from Emily at the table. “You can make a sandwich. Please don’t use it all; we need that to get through the next five days at least.”

“Well how much did you buy?” Morgan asked.

“Just don’t make a sandwich fit for ten men, OK?”

“I won't.”

Morgan grabbed the stuff from the fridge and he and JJ managed to share the counter without killing each other. It was quite a feat.

“Ask him.” Hotch said from the living room.

“Ask who what?” Morgan hated wheat bread but that was all they had. This would call for extra mayo.

“I'm told,” JJ said. “That everyone has a secret Barry Manilow song they love. What’s yours?”

“If it’s a secret, why would I tell you?” he asked.

“C'mon Morgan…we all did.” Penelope said smiling.

“Doesn’t he sing _Copacabana_?”

“I knew it!” JJ exclaimed, startling Spencer. “You owe me five, Prentiss.”

“Slow down, sunshine; I didn’t say that was my song. I don’t like any songs by him. That dude…shit.”

“Language, Morgan.” Jason said.

“My bad,” Morgan covered his mouth. “He sings _Can't Smile Without You_ , doesn’t he? My mama loved that song and she used to sing it to me when I was little. Stupid Barry Manilow…I guess I’ll go with that one.” He was piling the chicken onto his bread but he looked at Gideon and stopped. He passed it off to Spencer to put back in the fridge.

“You still owe me $2, Emily. I can't believe it; I thought you definitely wouldn’t like him. He’s so lame.”

“I never said he wasn’t lame.” Morgan took his sandwich to the table after he poured himself a glass of iced tea. “I think he could possibly be the lamest dude alive.”

“That’s harsh.” Jason replied.

“No its not.” JJ and Morgan said in unison. “Jinx!”

“Inside voices, guys.” Jason said as JJ laughed and punched Derek in the arm.

“What's for dinner?” Penelope asked.

“Baked chicken with mashed potatoes and probably carrots.”

“Eww.” JJ turned up her nose. “Do we have to have carrots? I’d rather broccoli…OK, forget that.”

“Someone wanna tell me where the Barry Manilow thing came from?” Morgan was talking with his mouth full.

“Will’s aunt is a fan. She said everyone has at least one song by him that they like. Turns out she was right. I'm shocked.”

“Jason has some of his records.” Morgan pointed at him.

“No way!”

“I was keeping that on the down low; thanks Morgan.”

“No problem.” The teenager grinned.

“Better watch your back, Prentiss, or you'll be dancing at your wedding to _Mandy_.” JJ giggled.

“Ha, ha.” Emily smiled.

“You're all grounded for a month.” Jason replied.

“See, even the nicest guy eventually abuses his power.”

Jason laughed, pulling one of JJ’s plaits. He needed to put on dinner and asked Emily to help him. Morgan wanted to watch TV; JJ and Penelope were down with that so Hotch went into Gideon’s bedroom to finish another chapter of his book. Spencer sat at the kitchen table and set up the chess set. Jason helped him move it over to the table by the window…there was no way he’d be done by dinner time. Knowing Spencer he wouldn’t be done until tomorrow.

“Lets watch a movie.” JJ said.

“We’re just gonna argue about which one to watch.” Morgan said.

“Penelope will be the tiebreaker.”

“Aww no,” Penelope shook her head. “I hate having to do that kinda thing. Here.” She pulled a quarter from the pocket of her overall dress. “Flip a coin you guys. It'll be better for my aura.”

“Um…” JJ took the quarter. “Wouldn’t want your aura to need therapy or anything.”

“Anastasia thanks you.”

“What?” Morgan raised an eyebrow.

“Just don’t go there.” JJ shook her head.

“OK.”

Emily rinsed off the chicken under the tap, laughing as she listened to the conversation in the living room. Jason came close to her and his hand rested on her hip.

“What's so funny?” he whispered.

“I swear if you make me dance to anything by Barry Manilow I might have to reconsider spending the rest of my life with you.”

“He has one called _Could it be Magic_.” Jason kissed the special spot behind her ear. “I think that one might be perfect.”

***

  



End file.
